It is relatively easy to find so-called friends who really only play at friendship (Proverbs 18:24, NRSV). They are ‘friends’ because of what we can provide for them and cease to be ‘friends’ when it looks like we can no longer give them the status points, money, or whatever else it was that they wanted from us. These are bad ‘friends’ – and bad friends can undermine our good habits (Prov 15:33, NCV with CEV). In the short-term, it may be fun to be with them but they are not close friends.
A close, true friend is loyal (Proverbs 17:17; 18:24). Such friends are hard to come by (Proverbs 20:6, Knox). These are the kind of friends we should seek. Indeed, we should be careful to choose good friends and to spend little time with pretend friends (Proverbs 12:26, NKJV). If we are a person of some depth, this is what we will do because our choice of friends reveals who we are (Proverbs 27:19, LB).
Does this mean that we can’t have any acquaintance types of friends, work buddies, tennis buddies, church buddies and the like? No. We recognize the limitations of the relationship and don’t pretend it is something it isn’t. Nor do we hang out with them if they are insincere or likely to pull us down. Let us be careful with whom we spend a lot of our time and to whom we turn for friendship. After all, it is more likely to go well for us if we are friends with those who are wise and to go badly if we are with those who are foolish (Proverbs 13:20). And this diligently seeking for godly wisdom is a form of befriending ourself because becoming wiser is showing true friendship toward ourselves (Proverbs 19:8, Moffatt).
Instead of being timid, learn to be appropriately bold.