Family can give us spiritual guidance and grounding (Prov 22:6). It can help prepare us for our call. Character is significantly forged in family life (Prov 27:17) because family is to be of such great priority to us (Ex 20:12) that, ideally, we disclose ourselves to family members in ways that are more intimate than with other individuals. “Home is not where you live but where they understand you” (Christian Morgenstern). Consequently, when we are about to die, are we more likely to regret not having worked longer hours at our job or not having developed better relationships with loved ones?
How well are you understood at home? In families that are more on the dysfunctional end of the continuum, the unspoken rule is to keep secrets and don’t talk about things that could be embarrassing or shameful to the family. It becomes a ‘home’ dominated by fear, isolation, shame, and control rather than love (Eph 5:33 with Tit 2:4). There isn’t an emphasis on understanding each other with loving acceptance and support (Rom 15:7). Intimacy is lacking and our real self is not expressed or known. ‘Don’t tell’ becomes more important than ‘be known.’ How sad.
As parents, we should talk with our children using appropriate freedom (Eph 4:25 with 1 Cor 3:2, CEV). Shouldn’t we model confessing our weaknesses that we might be healed (Jas 5:16)? Our humanness and struggles, within age-appropriate limits, should be known. It can give our loved ones a sense that we trust them enough to be vulnerable with them – to know them and be known by them. We give an example of being appropriately intimate.
Instead of being timid, learn to be appropriately bold.