President James Garfield and his wife, Lucretia referred to the early years of their marriage as ‘years of darkness.’ He displayed no joy in his decision to marry her and there was no honeymoon. About four years into their marriage, they went off together for what amounted to a honeymoon and found they deeply cared for each other. It took time, but eventually they came to deeply love each other and were happily married (Boller, Presidential Wives, p 159).
The death of their son hurt the Eisenhower’s young marriage. In a short time, Dwight (Ike) and Mamie became distant. Mamie frequently complained to General Conner’s wife, Virginia, while Ike spent a lot of time at work. Fortunately, Virginia counseled Mamie to rekindle romantic feelings with Ike. Mamie began to get dressed up for Ike and spend more time with him. Gradually, their marriage was strengthened (Boller, Presidential Wives, p 347). They had a happy and improving marriage for over 50 years.
Some marriages start out rough. There may be dark, unhappy times. Yet, if we persevere, spend time together, try to enjoy each other, seek to meet each other’s needs, devote ourselves to our spouse, and focus on what is good about them, we can have a happy marriage. Marriage is worth the effort for God hates divorce (Mal 2:16). He wants to use the person who should know us best (Prov 2:17) to improve our character (Prov 27:17). Such character development requires that we maintain our faith as we persevere in difficulties (2 Pet 1:5-7). The result? We become closer to God and of greater use to Him (2 Pet 1:8). If it is at all possible, we need to persevere in our marriage because too much is at stake.
Instead of being timid, learn to be appropriately bold.