“Shame may restrain what law does not prohibit” (Seneca). “I regard that man as lost, who has lost his sense of shame” (Plautus). A sense of shame can be helpful.
Shame can be used to motivate us to do what is right (1 Cor 6:5, NIV). George Washington realized this and infrequently but effectively used shame to motivate others to provide what they should have provided had they been acting with compassion or love. Fear of being ashamed can also prompt us to suffer or to act courageously. The ability to experience shame, coupled with the desire to avoid it, can also supplement law. For instance, the law may permit someone to have virtually no clothes on in public. Yet, if they have a sense of shame, it will not allow them to go about as scantily clad as the law might permit. If everyone lacked a sense of shame in this area, we would quickly become a far more lascivious, exhibitionistic, and voyeuristic people than we already are.
Shame can be valuable and a deadened responsiveness to shame is a sign of hardness of heart toward God and others (Jude 13; Phil 3:19, ESV). Even Adam and Eve experienced shame after they sinned because God and their spouse mattered to them. Shame has not been the Lord’s desire for us (and we will experience no more shame when we die and are with Him), but it is a reality in this fallen world.
All this having been said, there is a danger that people can manipulate us to do something which may seem proper but really is shameful. Our safeguard is to ask for God’s common sense and wisdom, get godly counsel, ascertain the facts and analyze them, and be fully committed to Him so we are able to determine His will (Rom 12:1-2) and be led by His Spirit (Eph 5:17-18, Wuest).
Instead of being timid, learn to be appropriately bold.